


Everybody Loves Me(?!)

by Chrysanthos



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Multi, We Are All That Waiter, what should i even tag this as?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysanthos/pseuds/Chrysanthos
Summary: Yuuri spat out his drink. "P-Phichit, what?!""Oh come on, Yuuri, it's much easier if I do it like this," And before Yuuri could stop him, Phichit turned towards the table, "So, anyways, who here's had a crush on Yuuri at least at one point?"To Yuuri's mortification, almost every hand at the table was raised in an instant.





	

It was another day with Yuuri. And by that, Yuuri will admit, it was a pretty nonsense day.

 

At some point, Phichit had the _grand_ idea to call up all of Yuuri's acquaintances and surprise him for some sort of birthday gathering. And, considering exactly how _many_ people Yuuri was acquainted with, he wasn't really surprised to see that their party had become a small mob, with Phichit at the head. At least Victor was here.

 

As they sat at the restaurant and while they were waiting for their food, Jean-Jacques had mentioned something (Yuuri wasn't really listening; he was busy trying to avoid Victor pressing his cold hands against Yuuri's face and whispering "cold hands".), and that had set the whole thing off.

 

"Really, you too?!" Phichit said, "So did I! How'd Isabella take it?"

 

"I'm right here," Isabella said from next to Jean-Jacques, "And we talked about it, and I admitted that I've also been having wet dreams about Katsuki-"

 

"What?!" Yuuri shouted, effectively ending any and all side conversations at their conjoined table, "You- I- What on earth?!"

 

"Yuuri, weren't you paying attention?" Phichit asked as a waiter refilled Yuuri's cup, "JJ and Isabella had some really nasty dreams about you leading up to the Grand Prix."

 

"I- I-" Yuuri began to sip his water, "A-And what brought this topic up?"

 

"Oh, I mentioned how much of a crush I had on you since I met you."

 

Yuuri spat out his drink. "P-Phichit, _what_?!"

 

"Oh come _on_ , Yuuri, it's much easier if I do it like this," And before Yuuri could stop him, Phichit turned towards the table, "So, anyways, who here's had a crush on Yuuri at least at one point?"

 

To Yuuri's mortification, almost every hand at the table was raised in an instant. "I- All of you-" Yuuri cleared his throat, then began again, "Okay, so, Victor and Chris, I totally get. Phichit, this is news to me, but I can understand it, kinda. JJ and Isabella, well, that's a shock. Minami, I can... Get... Kind of... But what about the rest of you?!"

 

"Really, Katsuki, is it that hard to believe you're desirable?" Michele Crispino began, "If it weren't for the fact that Sara at least looked interested in you, I wouldn't have analyzed your every movement to see why she would even like talking to someone who looked like a closet pervert," Averting his eyes, he continued, "During all that, is it any wonder that I began to fall for you?" His tan cheeks became dusted with a light pink blush.

 

 _Closet pervert?_ Yuuri thought.

 

"My infatuation also began at the same time, I suppose." Seung Gil Lee spoke up.

 

"What."

 

"It was after the Rostelecom Cup," Seung Gil said, staring into his drink, "When you hugged me, I felt... Something. My heartbeat had sped up, I couldn't think for a quick second, and when you pulled away, I almost wanted you to continue..." Seung Gil looked at Yuuri, "Almost. Don't get any ideas."

 

"I-I wouldn't... Dream of it?" Yuuri replied tentatively, and Seung Gil nodded before going onto his phone.

 

"I'll admit," Georgi spoke up, "You did sort of help me get over Anya..."

 

"Oh? How?" Yuuri asked.

 

The two stared at each other, each getting more uncomfortable.

 

"I-I see..." Yuuri eventually said.

 

"Y-Yeah..." Georgi replied, and what they had exchanged during that moment was lost to the annals of history.

 

Yuuri noticed that Yakov's hand was still in the air.

 

"WHAT?!"

 

"A-All I'm saying is that your Eros performance awakened something in me!" Yakov shouted, pink dusting his wrinkled cheeks.

 

"YAKOV!!"

 

"That being said, a stunning amount of people on Grindr are looking for 'granddaddies'..." Yakov trailed off, looking at his phone.

 

"Oh my god shut the fuck up I am not listening to this-" Yuri began, throwing various table things at Yakov.

 

"Ah, Yurio~" Victor sang, "Wasn't your hand in the air just a few seconds ago?"

 

All eyes turned to Yuri as he tried to sink into his chair.

 

"Even you, Yuri?" Yuuri asked, slightly mortified.

 

"D-Da..." Yuri said, not meeting anyone's eyes, "When I saw you in Sochi, your eyes red from crying and tears on your cheeks, I could only think to myself how beautiful you were, and how, if I were to wipe away those tears, I would make you gorgeous..."

 

Silence.

 

"Okay, Yura, time for the Kinkshame Corner," Mila said, lifting Yuri as if he were a 20 pound weight.

 

"PUT ME DOWN YOU HAG!"

 

As this went on, Otabek said, "If it's any consolation, I've only ever felt a slight appreciation for your cuteness."

 

"Oh," Yuuri said, "Thank... You?"

 

Otabek nodded, then went to help Yuri.

 

"Yuuko, Takeshi, are those... _Your_ hands I see?" Minako sang, causing the couple to blush deeply and hide their hands.

 

"M-Mina-chan! Your hand was up too!" Yuuko said.

 

"Yeah? So? I was the person who taught Yuuri how to move in feminine ways," Minako took a sip of her sake, "He got all his feminine wiles from me, so of _course_ he's gonna be attractive to me!" The ballet instructor pointed at the Nishigoris. "You two, on the other hand~"

 

Yuuko sighed, and turned to Yuuri. "Look, Yuuri," Yuuko said, "We're childhood friends."

 

"That's right," Takeshi added, "And what's childhood friendship without an unspoken threesome pact?"

 

"A very normal childhood," Yuuri replied, stark white, "Holy shit. I- How can any of you _think_ this?"

 

"Look, Yuuri-kun, I'll prove that you're incredibly fuckable," Minako said. Acting fast, she grabbed a passing waiter. "Hey, blondie," She said, pointing at Yuuri, "Would you fuck him, no strings attached, in the alleyway behind a FamilyMart?"

 

" _Minako_!!!" Yuuri shouted, scandalized.

 

"Absolutely," The waiter said without any hesitation, and he wrote down something and gave it to Minako, "This is my number. Give it to him, ma'am." And then he was gone.

 

"Here, pass this to Yuuri," Minako said, and by the time the number made it to Yuuri (with everyone else's number added), Yuuri was trying to become invisible to even heat vision.

 

"Think about it like this, Yuuri!" Victor said brightly as he drew a little poodle in an untouched corner of the paper, "With the knowledge that you're so desired by so many people, think about how seductive you can make your Eros program now!"

 

That single thought alone brought many pleasant dreams to many people that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Yakov no.


End file.
